Post by † Jango † on May 18, 2006 11:56:04 GMT -5
Just thought id give it a go and make u guys laff ;D
No1)
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her "What happened?"
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back."
No2)
There was a blonde and she wanted to buy a TV and so she went to a store to buy a TV. She goes in the store and looks around and finds a TV she really likes.
She goes up to the man at the cash register and says "Hey can I buy this TV?"
The guy says "No, I don't sell any thing to blondes!"
Sad, she leaves the store but then as she is passing a salon she has a good idea ( for once) she thought "I am gonna dye my hair."
The next day she comes in the store with black hair she finds the TV and says "Hello. can I buy this TV?"
"No, I don't sell to blondes"
Well, this dyeing her hair a different color goes on and on at last she dyes she hair blue, comes in and says "Can I get a TV?"
"No, I don't sell to blondes." he said for the 6th time.
"But how do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because miss that isn't a TV, it is a microwave."
No3)
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
No4)
A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field. She drove over to her and said, "It's idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!"
No5)
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.
They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel.
After some discussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the redhead reached the French coast.
Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the brunette finally came into sight.
"What took you so long?" inquired the redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view.
Once on dry land the brunette asked the blonde, "What took you so long?"
"What do you expect? You guy's cheated," replied the indignant blonde, "You used your hands!"
No1)
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her "What happened?"
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back."
No2)
There was a blonde and she wanted to buy a TV and so she went to a store to buy a TV. She goes in the store and looks around and finds a TV she really likes.
She goes up to the man at the cash register and says "Hey can I buy this TV?"
The guy says "No, I don't sell any thing to blondes!"
Sad, she leaves the store but then as she is passing a salon she has a good idea ( for once) she thought "I am gonna dye my hair."
The next day she comes in the store with black hair she finds the TV and says "Hello. can I buy this TV?"
"No, I don't sell to blondes"
Well, this dyeing her hair a different color goes on and on at last she dyes she hair blue, comes in and says "Can I get a TV?"
"No, I don't sell to blondes." he said for the 6th time.
"But how do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because miss that isn't a TV, it is a microwave."
No3)
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
No4)
A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field. She drove over to her and said, "It's idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!"
No5)
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.
They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel.
After some discussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the redhead reached the French coast.
Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the brunette finally came into sight.
"What took you so long?" inquired the redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the brunette.
"No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view.
Once on dry land the brunette asked the blonde, "What took you so long?"
"What do you expect? You guy's cheated," replied the indignant blonde, "You used your hands!"
